It's been a hell of a depressing semester for me so far.
But somehow i feel like things are going to change for the better from here.
Emotions are so illusive. You can never really explain how you feel until you realize why you are feeling this way.
I still havent worked out why I am feeling this way, but I guess organising my life around it helps.
Showing concern, spending time on others make you realize just how much one would be missing if he chooses to live in solitude. Thankfully I snapped out of it.
haha. Farewell anti-socialism.
Welcome...uh...socialism?
posted by bob of sunshine* 8:12 AM
Some of us want silver linings
To be the belle of the ball
Going down in a blaze of glory
The story means nothing at all
I don't want the sun don't want you to run
Don't want superman don't need wonderland
Just want you to love me
What bull.. Wanting someone to love you will leave you in pain you idiot. Because you will be courting someone whose heart you can never really have. So go be the belle at the ball or reach for your stardust, cos at least that way you are appreciated.
posted by bob of sunshine* 10:14 AM
This is to CHERYL.
WOMAN...
M
I
S
S
I
N
G
yoU.
posted by bob of sunshine* 7:03 AM
So what happens from now?
Alright, maybe I am weak. And I should finally drop the burden of always lifting my own and everyone else's problems on my worn out back.
If only you just listened.. I might have shared more.
And now everything might be too late. I actually stopped wanting to share.
Geez, what a crap day for me. Hope tmr gets better.
posted by bob of sunshine* 9:25 AM
Bon Voyage and love always from Adelaide.
Rahul left Australia today. After studying for 2 years with more months of work, he finally flew off. This is perhaps just one of the many goodbyes I will saying to my new friends in this once foreign and confusing land.
It is a pity the way we always neglect the people that matter to us until we have to say goodbye. The small things we could have gone out of the way to do seems so important now, compared to the minute, selfish inconveniences facing us back then. We don't realise how important freedom is until we commit to a relationship, we often forget how much our family loves us till a time comes when we have to part.
Rahul is my first friend at work. I have come such a long way and he was with me every step of the way. Whenever I work the early shift, I will make coffee for him with 3 teaspoons of sugar. In return, he will come to the front area and bug me when he's bored. And if I end early and I beg him enough, he will make my favourite thai salad with extra coriander and lime juice. He'll smoke while I eat and eat and eat. He told me about his plans of getting a decent job and I will tell him how I have no idea what I want to do. However, opportunities don't always exist at the places you hope for them to be. Which is why he has to leave.
goodbyes. Friends cry for the cherished memories and the space that will be left behind. Perhaps to them, it was more than that. Maybe it was for an even greater emptiness that I am already feeling.
whenever people ask me how am i, I say 'not bad' or 'good'. And I am not lying cos it is good when I am not thinking about it. When I don't sit down and wonder again what really matters. When I keep moving, keep walking and waking and talking and smiling. Just as long as I don't stop, and think. My life's turning out into a charade. The kind of one man show I think of, and put up all by myself. Where I express everything I think i am feeling in a short sentence or two. And nothing goes deeper than the surface.
But anyway... as i said, the world goes on. But while this moment lingers I should say it all..
So, while my friend is sitting in an aeroplane, dreaming of his long-awaited reunion, and an exciting future..His adoring friends are flying right beside him. And if he opens his cabin window and look into the darkness hard enough, he will see the constellation aligning themselves for him.
Yupp.
That's us. Love you lots, our favourite boy. xoxo.
posted by bob of sunshine* 8:44 AM
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